11052009 Tis’ the season…to be jolly

So this morning first of all my alarm didn’t go off…oh snaps…so I was running a few, take that back several minutes late. I was having the strangest dreams. One I was invited to some organization initiation, but when I got there first of all I was under dressed ( and is partly why I chose to wear the dress I am currently wearing right now). Strangely the organizations practices were not in my best interest. The second one I had an assistant position for the Asst. VP of DCM here on campus. Talk about intimidating…and I wasn’t really her direct assistant. She had this get it done attitude and I’m only going to tell you once (Devil Wears Prada style). Anyways I got to work and got into the flow (whatever that is). Still I don’t want people to know about my situation. Frankly whose business is it? Unless I personally tell you, you shouldn’t know. Anyways just got back from a staff meeting…furloughs were discussed I am obviously not exempt. So maybe my last day will be before that Monday…got to take the days if I’m going to have my check effective.
I’ve made the first round of interviews on Friday the 13th of this month…still figuring out what I’m going to acknowledge as a weakness but turn it into a strength. I want to impress…oh crap and I have to be able to describe what will make me the best fit…but I would still need tom go through one more interview before I get the job…
If I think of it as a half of basketball…the first five minutes I have to prove that I am the one…the best choice. At this point all of my eggs are in one basket…I have nothing to lose at this point…but everything to gain (another “job” vs. “career”). Each moment that I have a ask the lord to give me favor and lay my path. For all I know there is a reason that I have taken the long way to get here…I’m still learning to this day…faced with life changing circumstances and decisions. It should be all in…it’s a gamble or maybe not…but I have to be proud and commend myself because I could have continued on and not pursued this lifelong dream (lol lifelong and I’m only 26).
Dido “White Flag” is playing
“I will go down with this ship. I won’t put my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door.”
Peace out <3

11032009 He has gotten me to the first round XD

I have to give praise where praise is due. Thank you Jesus!!!
for a moment is was going crazy...ready to fall down to my knees and take the easy way out. Giving up is never the solution, its persistence and perseverance that guides individuals to full fill their dreams. It is that since of self fulfillment that i am longing for...to know that everything i am going through right now is shaping me, guiding me, giving me the necessary life experiences that i need to be successful. thank you Jesus for laying my path and testing me. Thank you.

11032009 Oh, the day draws closer

Not saying that I am completely unhappy with the way things are going…actually scratch that I’m a little frightened. I spoke with my mom yesterday about how I am awaiting an email stating if I have indeed made the first round of interviews. Each day, every sec, every minute I’m asking the lord to rebuke all of the negative thoughts going through my mind. For instance “Did I not say enough at the information session”, “should I have not sent the thank you emails”, “do I not fit the profile of someone they can groom”, “was I not dressed appropriately”, “will I even receive and email if I am not one of the selected individuals to make the first round of interviews”…I want theses thought gone. Only thoughts of how I’m going to prove that I am the best fit for the company and how I see myself being there fitting in and becoming successful and learning a heck of a lot.
The fact that I soon will be out of a job is scary. I don’t want to waitress lord knows I don’t want to but sometimes one person doesn’t have a choice. As of this moment I haven’t been forced to make one….I don’t want to lose my apartment, my car, develop ridiculous bad credit because I can’t pay, the harsh reality is only a couple of weeks away…and above all I don’t want to move back home. I have a chance to finish this semester and get an “A” in Jeremy’s class…lord knows I have to get that or I’m out of school…then what will I have?
Oh Jesus you have kept me for so long out here. I don’t want these depressing thoughts going through my mind…rebuke them and keep me. Lord you know the desires of my heart all this I ask in Jesus name amen.
Thank you.

10302009 Happy Hollows Eve

Well yesterday was rather productive. I was able to stay focused long enough to clean up my apartment. It didn’t take too long. I was able to get the task done in two movies. First I put on Love Jones (that is such a rainy day joint) and then I put on The Gate…and it had the nerve to still freak me out (just a little of course). After I was done I took a nice nap. Why not take one I thought I had been up since 6 that morning. Around 6pm I headed to my guitar lesson (I’m more than likely going to be going once a month now, but I’ll do the hour session the half hour is pointless and truly a waste of money if you ask me… so once a month, hour long, more material).
Got home got into my pj’s totally enjoyed the cleanliness of my apartment and watched Flashforward, Supernatural and some of the RHATL Reunion show (which I regret and I probably lost a shit load of brain cells).
I need to start reading more. I mean I have the material I just need to take advantage of it. I have to go to the library after work today.
I have drafted up a thank you email to send to the Turner Construction reps today. As soon as my mama takes a look at it I’ll send it on its marry way. I will not know until next week if I even made the cut for first round interviews….nervous. I shouldn’t be…confidence is key. I have notes that I took while at the session and what I need to do I go over how I fit at Turner. There were a lot of Civil, Mechanical and Electrical engineers in the building and only two of us from the Architectural department. The company has individuals from all back grounds and is well rounded so any one of the individuals sitting in the session had a successful resume and may have made a better impression with the reps…urg arg….
Here is to looking up. Oh Jesus when I woke up this morning I didn’t want to come into day. I wish I was sick. Four more weeks and then I will be out of the job. Recruitment maybe the best way in getting that foot in the door. When resumes are sent out blindly you are just a piece of paper in a larger stack. Key words come into play but the ability to make a first impression is lost. Here’s to looking up.
I’m kind of losing my focus and my direction so I’m going to end it here.

10282009 Maybe

I just might find an online blog site to publish these entries….

ps
found one...obviously (lol)

10272009 Real estate…design, develop and market

So on the third of November I will find myself in Hunt Valley, MD I will be attending a free workshop. The purpose of this is to spark more interest and of course $$$$$ into the real estate market. I know that for sure if the market was booming this event definitely wouldn’t be free…free is good especially for me. I will be allowed to gain insight into this realm of the built environment. There are so many different facets when dealing with the designing, building and selling of real estate. I am supposed to get information on how to start with no money, no credit check, and etc…and that’s me right now in a nut shell…shame huh. Oh good things come to those who wait. On the other hand work hard now and play later. You can quote me on that…shoot I need to quote myself on that. Anyways I believe its valuable information I got to be a sponge in this industry make myself valuable and indispensible <3 with prayers and work experience and exposure.
I am still strongly considering taking acting classes.

10272009 Been away for so long

A series of events have happened since the last entry. I have been made aware that November will be my last month in the Procurement Department at Morgan State University. Its bittersweet I believe. The feelings are Bittersweet because I can focus on truly gaining more relevant experience in the design and building environment. I am scared that I could lose everything and be forced to move back home, which would be a huge step backward.
I have been given the opportunity to truly grow from this and have my true character defined. I know or I believe I know who I am, but maybe there is something more to me that I haven’t yet seen…that could be excited. I don’t want to fall by the waste side….
This like a game of basketball is a competition and can I put my best foot forward and succeed? Ever since a little girl I have had fascinations with the built environment and now I have the ability to immerse myself in it. The only question and prayers that I have is will I be fulfilled and it not feel like work. What ideas can I bring to the work place to make it fun, creative, competitive, innovative, reliable and not considered work?
Oh yea and the other things that happened is that my computer got a real uber-ugly virus on it. Working on it as we speak…
Um I can’t remember if anything else is as drastic as those two, but I am looking at it head on and I will overcome. Thank you Jesus, you have kept me…I pray that you will continue to keep me and guide me.
Oh and I want to start thinking like a designer…designers are different they notice things that ordinary people take for granted…I believe that.